there she goes

off for her first summer-week away at her dad’s. you think i would be used to it by now— she’s been doing it for over 7 years now… but i’m not. up until the time she’s gone, i plan my events to include her. i try to enjoy her a little more than i usually do. i try and take the time to talk more, to connect more. because i need that bond with her. and sometimes, it’s not there. we butt heads. we argue. we don’t see eye to eye. and as she’s walking out the door, i am thinking, this will be good for us.. it’s what we need… a little break…(reality, sorry)… she gets to go to places like sea world, the wild animal park, ya know- places daddies like to take their little girls. (sorry, but it’s true).
and then i kick myself. hating that she will miss out on things that go on here. hating that she has to go in the first place. hating that she is not WITH me. 😦 and of course– looking back on all of my shortcomings with her. and so i promise… not to take a day for granted. to love her like she needs to be loved. to truly enjoy her. to do my best.